2008 Woodie Awards
Plane pilot talk
A lite approach to aviation
Jack Hartmann
Issue date: 3/31/06 Section: Opinion
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Q: Is it true that new flight attendants are "initiated" with practical jokes by the pilots?
A: Actually, the pilots stay awake all night thinking up new gags to pull. The flight attendants have some cool "get even" jokes too!
Oldie but goodie: "The Air Sample". My Co-Pilot, Ann, pulled a good one on flight attendant Bruce who was on his first trip. Ann: "Bruce, maintenance needs two in-flight air samples high up in the cabin. There have been complaints about the air quality in this aircraft." She handed Bruce 2 plastic bags and said: "I'll call you on interphone when we get to our cruise altitude." The sight of Bruce running down the aisle, jumping into the air waving a plastic bag was priceless! The passengers were applauding and laughing the whole time. Bruce thought for a moment he was being "taken for a ride", but when the mechanic appeared at the door after landing asking for the air samples, he was sure he had done a good job. (We prearranged this with the mechanic). To this day, no one has told Bruce the truth.
My favorite: "The forward lav viewing lens." When a flight attendant comes to the cockpit to take a break, the Captain turns to the Co-Pilot and says: "Mike, would you check if the lav is free? I gotta go." The Co-Pilot turns and appears to look through a hole in the bulkhead behind him. "Yep, boss it's empty." The Captain gets out of his seat and leaves the cockpit. The flight attendant stands there with her mouth agape: "WHAT? You can really see into the lavatory? Co-Pilot: "Of course - have you ever seen the Captain stand in line? That mirror on the wall is a two-way you know." The flight attendant leaves and never - ever uses the forward lav again!
Flight attendant get even joke: "The lacy underwear caper". On the last leg of a trip, a flight attendant will sneak a pair of her panties into the Captains suitcase. (Usually when he's in the lav). The Captain drives home and dumps his suitcase in the laundry room for his wife to wash. Wife says (with a scowl): Why dear! You didn't tell me you liked this kind of underwear. They couldn't belong to someone else, so I'll be getting you this kind from now on." Captain pleads: "But…but…those belong to Sally…you see, it was after we peeped into the lav…..Ah….. I mean she couldn't take a joke ….
Stay tuned, I'll tell more in next week's column.
A: Actually, the pilots stay awake all night thinking up new gags to pull. The flight attendants have some cool "get even" jokes too!
Oldie but goodie: "The Air Sample". My Co-Pilot, Ann, pulled a good one on flight attendant Bruce who was on his first trip. Ann: "Bruce, maintenance needs two in-flight air samples high up in the cabin. There have been complaints about the air quality in this aircraft." She handed Bruce 2 plastic bags and said: "I'll call you on interphone when we get to our cruise altitude." The sight of Bruce running down the aisle, jumping into the air waving a plastic bag was priceless! The passengers were applauding and laughing the whole time. Bruce thought for a moment he was being "taken for a ride", but when the mechanic appeared at the door after landing asking for the air samples, he was sure he had done a good job. (We prearranged this with the mechanic). To this day, no one has told Bruce the truth.
My favorite: "The forward lav viewing lens." When a flight attendant comes to the cockpit to take a break, the Captain turns to the Co-Pilot and says: "Mike, would you check if the lav is free? I gotta go." The Co-Pilot turns and appears to look through a hole in the bulkhead behind him. "Yep, boss it's empty." The Captain gets out of his seat and leaves the cockpit. The flight attendant stands there with her mouth agape: "WHAT? You can really see into the lavatory? Co-Pilot: "Of course - have you ever seen the Captain stand in line? That mirror on the wall is a two-way you know." The flight attendant leaves and never - ever uses the forward lav again!
Flight attendant get even joke: "The lacy underwear caper". On the last leg of a trip, a flight attendant will sneak a pair of her panties into the Captains suitcase. (Usually when he's in the lav). The Captain drives home and dumps his suitcase in the laundry room for his wife to wash. Wife says (with a scowl): Why dear! You didn't tell me you liked this kind of underwear. They couldn't belong to someone else, so I'll be getting you this kind from now on." Captain pleads: "But…but…those belong to Sally…you see, it was after we peeped into the lav…..Ah….. I mean she couldn't take a joke ….
Stay tuned, I'll tell more in next week's column.