2008 Woodie Awards
Humor in the air
A lite approach, in plain language
Jack Hartmann
Issue date: 3/10/08 Section: Final Approach
Q. In one of your past columns, you told of jokes pilots would pull on flight attendants. Did it ever happen the other way around?
A. Ah yes - it sure did! All in good taste of course. We wouldn't want the traveling public thinking we're having fun up there.
I remember one of our Pilots (lets call him Capt. Dork) who got the reputation for leaving flight attendants behind if they were 2 minutes late for the layover hotel van. His reason? "Well…we need our crew rest and if she can't be on time she deserves to take a taxi. Teach her a lesson." She was probably straightening up the cabin for the morning departure. Ummm - I smell revenge!
It was supposed to be a short layover in Kansas City and the trap for Capt. Dork was set. Karen, one of the flight attendants on this trip lived in Kansas City but didn't let on. When everyone headed for the hotel van, Karen headed for the employee parking lot and drove home.
"*Sputter, hack, groan*" Capt. Dork was furious. "Where the H*** is she? Alright, lets head for the hotel. She'll enjoy paying $20 for a cab!" The next morning however, Dork started getting worried. She had never checked in to the hotel.
At the airport, Karen was nowhere to be found and Capt. Dork started really worrying. He could envision doing a "rug dance" in front of the Chief Pilot for having to cancel a flight for being short one flight attendant. As he went onboard the aircraft to stow his suitcase, there was Karen snugly sleeping in an overhead bin. (pretending she'd been there all night) Karen cried and carried-on like forsaken woman. "How dare you leave me (sob*) at the airport…cry..I didn't have cab fare and had to sleep in the airplane all night! I think I might have gotten frostbite - the mechanics shut down the heat about midnight!"
Capt. Dork pleaded with Karen to work the flight home and promised to NEVER leave a flight attendant behind again. After making Dork grovel for a half hour, Karen finally agreed to stay on the crew. I think Dork was cured of his bad habit.
Remember: Take care of your crew or they'll take care of you!
Jack Hartmann has been an aviator for over 47 years - Airline Captain (TWA), Corporate Pilot, Sky Marshal, Fighter Pilot (USAF & ANG), General Aviation pilot (CFII) and Asst. Professor, Embry-Riddle Aeronautical University (Prescott).
A. Ah yes - it sure did! All in good taste of course. We wouldn't want the traveling public thinking we're having fun up there.
I remember one of our Pilots (lets call him Capt. Dork) who got the reputation for leaving flight attendants behind if they were 2 minutes late for the layover hotel van. His reason? "Well…we need our crew rest and if she can't be on time she deserves to take a taxi. Teach her a lesson." She was probably straightening up the cabin for the morning departure. Ummm - I smell revenge!
It was supposed to be a short layover in Kansas City and the trap for Capt. Dork was set. Karen, one of the flight attendants on this trip lived in Kansas City but didn't let on. When everyone headed for the hotel van, Karen headed for the employee parking lot and drove home.
"*Sputter, hack, groan*" Capt. Dork was furious. "Where the H*** is she? Alright, lets head for the hotel. She'll enjoy paying $20 for a cab!" The next morning however, Dork started getting worried. She had never checked in to the hotel.
At the airport, Karen was nowhere to be found and Capt. Dork started really worrying. He could envision doing a "rug dance" in front of the Chief Pilot for having to cancel a flight for being short one flight attendant. As he went onboard the aircraft to stow his suitcase, there was Karen snugly sleeping in an overhead bin. (pretending she'd been there all night) Karen cried and carried-on like forsaken woman. "How dare you leave me (sob*) at the airport…cry..I didn't have cab fare and had to sleep in the airplane all night! I think I might have gotten frostbite - the mechanics shut down the heat about midnight!"
Capt. Dork pleaded with Karen to work the flight home and promised to NEVER leave a flight attendant behind again. After making Dork grovel for a half hour, Karen finally agreed to stay on the crew. I think Dork was cured of his bad habit.
Remember: Take care of your crew or they'll take care of you!
Jack Hartmann has been an aviator for over 47 years - Airline Captain (TWA), Corporate Pilot, Sky Marshal, Fighter Pilot (USAF & ANG), General Aviation pilot (CFII) and Asst. Professor, Embry-Riddle Aeronautical University (Prescott).
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